The chaotic, unique, beautiful Lebanon I knew has been reduced to rubble. When will it end?

Clumsiness and difficulty walking straight have prevented taking control of a 2-tonne vehicle. A first driving lesson in Beirut caused lasting fear: the car was falling apart, local drivers ignored traffic rules, and the lesson was in Arabic that was barely understood. After veering onto a busy road the wrong way, the teacher made the learner get out and yelled, creating a frightening outcome. Despite chaos and danger, Beirut remains loved. Visits included ruins in Baalbek, wineries in the Bekaa valley, man’oushe in the mountains, and glamorous, well-groomed hiking companions. The family faced car bomb danger, war-related stranding, and house confinement during clashes, yet also saw investment, tourism, and hope, including international recognition in 2009.

"Clumsiness is one. I can't even walk straight half the time, so I don't think it's a good idea that I take control of a 2-tonne vehicle. Another reason is that my first driving lesson was in Beirut and the experience scarred me for life. The car was falling apart, Lebanese drivers ignore traffic rules and the lesson was in Arabic, which I barely speak."

"After I had veered on to a busy road the wrong way, my teacher made me get out of the car and yelled at me. I didn't understand exactly what he was yelling, but it wasn't good. Despite that unfortunate incident, Lebanon chaotic, beautiful, unique Lebanon has a special place in my heart."

"When I was 18, my parents moved to Beirut for several years and I visited regularly. We'd go to the ancient ruins in Baalbek; drop by wineries in the Bekaa valley; eat man'oushe in the mountains. We'd do organised hikes, on which there would always be a glamorous woman in heels, full makeup and a designer nose (the Lebanese take grooming and cosmetic surgery very seriously)."

"Coming home from a swim one summer, my mum narrowly escaped a car bomb intended for a politician. In 2006, my parents were stranded overseas for months because Lebanon and Israel were at war. In 2008, there were a couple of days of clashes that meant my mum and sister couldn't leave the house. Still, this was a relatively good time; there was investment, tourism, hope. In January 2009, the New York Times named Beirut its No 1 place to visit that year."

Read at www.theguardian.com