"As any cunning and candy-crazed child knows, the time-honored tradition of trick-or-treating requires strategy, stamina, and a keen eye for candy profits. I would know - I was once one of these masterminds, and I had it down to a science. First, it is imperative to target the right neighborhood: dense, walkable, and rich in porch lights. Next, scout for the houses with over-the-top decorations; anyone who cashes out on giant inflatable skeletons probably doesn't cheap out on the treats."
"It's genuinely surprising to learn that circus peanuts are still being produced in the year 2025. Who exactly is buying these? This was the default "candy" at my grandparents' house when I was a kid, and even then, it felt like a relic. I still remember biting into one, expecting something light and fruity, maybe like a marshmallow Peep. Instead, I got a dense, chewy, vaguely banana-flavored mouthful of disappointment."
Effective trick-or-treating requires targeting dense, walkable neighborhoods with plentiful porch lights, scouting houses with elaborate decorations, and keeping careful mental records of which homes give desirable treats. Memories of past hauls include triumphant finds like a full-sized Snickers and disappointing yields like a box of Sun-Maid raisins. Worst candies to hand out to young trick-or-treaters are identified, with circus peanuts highlighted as a particularly unpopular relic: bright orange, peanut-shaped foam candies with an artificial banana flavor, dense and chewy rather than marshmallow-like, occupying an uncanny valley between marshmallow and taffy.
Read at Tasting Table
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]