Asking Eric: Here's how I warn a restaurant about my father's bad behavior

"What I do when my dad goes to a restaurant with me is call ahead to the restaurant and speak to the manager or send an email explaining what they can anticipate from my dad. I'm not sure what they do in the background, but I notice that they typically assign a server who is experienced with diners like this."

"My daughter-in-law's mother asked my girlfriend to make a dessert for another daughter's bridal shower. My girlfriend made a tray of lemon bars. It wasn't a huge undertaking for her. She never charges people for when she makes desserts since she loves to bake. The issue is that my girlfriend was not invited to the shower. Are we being too sensitive because she did not receive an invitation, but was asked to provide dessert?"

A reader whose father habitually complains to servers calls ahead to restaurants or emails managers to warn them and requests experienced servers. The reader sometimes leaves extra cash for the server in private when a small tip is left. The reader cannot confront the father directly and recommends this workaround for others. Another reader was asked to make lemon bars for a bridal shower without receiving an invitation. The baker never charges and enjoys baking. The advice notes that feeling sensitive is reasonable and that asking for free contributions without inviting the contributor is odd.

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