"My butt is, I have to say, overall a pretty good butt: I proudly have ample junk in the trunk, and my cheeks are round with delightful symmetry, which should satisfy my vanity. But the top of my crack, well, it swerves like it's a freehand drawing done after a third martini. I wasn't born like this; I had an operation in my 20s to remove a harmful cyst."
"It's the least visible part of my body, yet I've had good reason lately to obsess about my gluteus maximus, my derrière, my whole imperfect situation back there. It's the year of the butt crack, haven't you heard? Seemingly every red carpet, really the entire fashion industry in 2026, has put cheeks back on the paparazzi menu. So far this awards season, Kendall Jenner, Hailey Bieber, Teyana Taylor, and Zoë Kravitz have all donned very public looks showcasing the top of their once private behinds."
The butt is described as ample, with round, symmetrical cheeks, but the top of the crack swerves due to a pilonidal cyst removed in the individual's twenties. The medical removal succeeded, but cosmetically a two-inch region of skin appears displaced, pushing the boundary of the crack and producing asymmetry. Close inspection in mirrors provokes concern about what friends and lovers might think. Contemporary 2026 fashion frequently exposes the top of the butt, with red carpet looks, plunging backlines, bejeweled butt veils, and mesh dresses. The cyst removal was performed without complication by a general surgeon.
Read at Slate Magazine
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