"I cannot tell you how many times I have dealt with kids who have no compunction about cursing at me and being disrespectful, and then when I meet the parents, it is easy to see where the child learned it from. So attempting to address it goes nowhere. Likewise, if I ask parents to put in some extra effort to help their child in areas where they are struggling, the reaction is that I'm a bad teacher. What am I supposed to do when parents won't help me to help their child?"
"I also have to assume that you have a lot of children in your class and probably not too much other adult help, and that your time is very limited. That said, what I have learned over the years is that most people really don't like surprises, especially when they come with bad news. You say that you're dreading parent-teacher conferences because you know you'll have to tell parents that their child is having difficulty and/or acting out in class, but I'm wondering why you have to wait until parent-teacher conferences to deliver this news? Is it possible to bring the parents into the conversation earlier so this news doesn't come as such a shock, and you can"
Teachers frequently encounter parents who respond defensively when told a child is struggling or misbehaving. Many parents model disrespectful language and behavior, which undermines classroom management and makes corrective efforts ineffective. Waiting until scheduled conferences can make difficult news feel like a surprise and increase parental blame. Proactive outreach, clear documentation of incidents, and presentation of objective examples can soften reactions. Framing conversations as partnerships, offering specific, manageable at-home strategies, and scheduling follow-ups can promote cooperation. When necessary, involve administrators or school support services to reinforce interventions and maintain professional boundaries while supporting the student.
Read at Slate Magazine
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