"We didn't have any lemons. We did have kiwis. He proudly presented me with a dish of broccoli and kiwi. And, in his wisdom, he decided to boil the sliced kiwi with the broccoli, for rather longer than was necessary. His hope (he explained later) was that the broccoli would become infused with the kiwi flavour. Strangely, the opposite happened. The meal was rather bland, overcooked broccoli accompanied by broccoli-flavoured semi-transparent kiwi mush."
"It was the first meal I'd cooked from a recipe and I thought two cloves of garlic meant two bulbs. Cue the amazing smells, mostly garlic, for some reason. I served it with much panache to the guys. Then watched their faces as they and their taste buds slowly died inside. Still oblivious, I tucked into mine only to experience my soul leave my body and look down on a lot of people drinking as much fluid as possible. Paul, 65, wildlife photographer, Powys, Cymru"
"I was at the stage when the wine goes into the pot of mussels, along with the garlic and shallots, when I realised I had drunk the only bottle of white wine in the house. So, like any drunken cooking novice, I substituted red wine and continued. I quickly realised after adding the cream why the recipe called for white wine. What I had in front of me was a skillet full of Pepto-Bismol and mussels. Anonymous"
Several anecdotes recount home-cooked meals ruined by misunderstandings, substitutions, or overenthusiasm. One partner boiled sliced kiwi with broccoli attempting to infuse flavor, producing bland overcooked broccoli and mushy kiwi. A novice cook misread 'two cloves of garlic' as two whole bulbs, creating an overwhelmingly garlicky lasagne that left guests distressed. Another cook substituted red wine for white in mussels and added cream, resulting in an unappealing bright pink sauce. These stories show how small mistakes, misreadings, and inappropriate substitutions can dramatically alter taste and presentation, often with humorous and memorable consequences.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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