"The whole time we've been together, my husband and I have only owned one car. We used to live in a pretty walkable area and work at the same place or work from home, so sharing a car was never a problem. When we moved to a new town three years ago, that changed. Now I have a 40-minute commute, and my husband has to do field visits for work a few times a week."
"The thing is, when we moved, my husband decided to finally buy a motorcycle. He has become quite an enthusiast in the last few year, and he has no problem riding the motorcycle for hours for fun or to meet up with friends. But when he has to do a field visit for work, he insists he needs the car. He says it's always too hot or cold or rainy or late or he doesn't feel like packing his gear into the bags or whatever."
"Dear Wouldn't Be, Plus, he chooses the schedule for his site visits and they often inconvenience me in some way, like he wants to drop me off at work an hour early or have me Uber somewhere and then wait to meet him after work. I find it really frustrating because my work schedule and commute is always the same. The last thing I want to do is extend my already long and inconvenient day or change my plans when he could have planned better."
A couple shared one car until a move created longer commutes and separate work needs. The husband bought a motorcycle for leisure and became an enthusiast who rides for hours with friends. He nonetheless insists on using the shared car for work-related field visits, citing weather, comfort, gear packing, and timing. He schedules site visits in ways that disrupt the wife's consistent 40-minute commute, asking her to change plans, leave early, or use rideshares. The wife is frustrated that the motorcycle purchase depleted funds for a second car and wonders whether to refuse accommodations and require him to use the motorcycle.
Read at Slate Magazine
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