"Dear a Cycle, Birthday presents? For grown-ups? I understand the urge to share gifts and wisdom to support people who are expecting a first child. Baby showers and going-away parties are probably rare, and it would be awkward to opt out of them right away. But buying gifts for every colleague on their birthday seems absurd and endless, and a good place to start minimizing the gift grab."
"You are probably not the only person who has gotten sick of this routine. Can you tell who is forcing the festivities, and who is only grudgingly going along with them? If so, see if some of the latter will join you in talking with the former to suggest cutting back on the gifts. If it's you against the world, as far as you can tell, lead by example and ask for no gifts on your own birthday."
Office cultures often include pooled cash and obligatory presents for birthdays, baby showers, and farewells, which can become financially and emotionally burdensome. Identify who organizes and who reluctantly participates in these traditions. If others share the discomfort, approach organizers together to suggest cutting back. If opposition is strong, model the change by requesting no gifts on your birthday and asking whether colleagues would prefer fewer birthday presents overall. Offer low-cost alternatives like bringing cookies or group cards to preserve social rituals without financial pressure. Reserve exceptions for infrequent, major life events while emphasizing appreciation and tight budgets.
Read at Slate Magazine
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