"As girls, we may find it difficult to picture our mothers-especially if they are stern Caribbean mothers-as anything other than the poised ladies they're so determined to mold us into. We struggle to imagine that they were ever little girls themselves, flying kites, climbing trees, playing hopscotch and marbles with their siblings. As mothers, some of us are so fearful for our daughters that we issue long lists of instructions that we hope will shield them from a hostile and menacing world."
"In tight-knit communities like the one in Antigua where Kincaid-and, we assume, the mother and daughter in this story-grew up, reputation carries more weight than personal freedom, particularly for girls. The daughter, to whom a litany of instructions, or, rather, orders, are addressed, may yearn to sing benna, traditional Antiguan folk songs, in Sunday school, but she is likely better off, in her mother's and the community's perception, singing the traditional hymns of the Anglican Church."
"During my girlhood in Brooklyn, it was my father-who was a deacon in the Pentecostal church-who once told me that, of the four-hundred-plus members of the church we attended, there would always be at least one who was watching me. This was proved true when someone reported to my parents that I'd been seen eating sugarcane in the middle of Flatbush Avenue on a hot summer day."
Stern Caribbean mothering often erases mothers' childhoods, replacing memories with strict, poised expectations. Mothers issue exhaustive instructions aimed at protecting daughters from perceived dangers and preserving family reputation. For Black girls, warnings about promiscuity and hypersexualization are prioritized to prevent being labeled 'fast.' Tight-knit Antiguan communities place reputation above personal freedom, shaping acceptable behavior and public displays such as song choices. Traditional hymns are preferred over folk songs to maintain respectability. Community surveillance, enforced by church members and relatives, polices girls’ conduct in public spaces. Everyday cautions — like not eating fruit on the street — become markers of social control.
#caribbean-motherhood #reputation-and-respectability #gender-and-sexual-policing #community-surveillance
Read at The New Yorker
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]