"I, Walter LeFauve, am also a renowned performance artist, much in the manner of the gifted Mr. Koh. For example, I once had Tom Hanks wrap me in duct tape and lift me into the trunk of his car. He then blindfolded himself and drove down an especially potholed stretch of the Ventura Freeway. Afterward, Tom's wife, Rita Wilson, poked my bruised and concussed body with a large fork and asked if I was "done.""
"In 2001, I received a Ford Foundation grant, which I used to have Jennifer Aniston lock me in her kitchen pantry, call the police, and identify me as a stalker. When officers arrived, she told them that this wasn't a performance piece, but I later informed the federal-court judge that her denial was a "central aspect" of the piece. While serving my two-year sentence in a Westchester prison, I asked another inmate to watch "Friends" reruns with me, but he refused,"
The narrator claims renown as a performance artist and describes a series of provocative, secret performances involving well-known celebrities. The incidents include being wrapped in bedsheets and pushed down stairs, being duct-taped and transported in a car, being blindfolded during dangerous driving, and being prodded with a fork. The narrator recounts staging an alleged stalking incident leading to police involvement and a federal-court claim, followed by a two-year prison sentence. Other episodes include provocative insults, being shoved from a window, and a Venice Biennale piece involving food products, public chaining in Piazza San Marco, and a pigeon attack. The acts combine humiliation, risk, and celebrity participation.
Read at The New Yorker
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