You snap at your child over something tiny: They won't stop asking questions while you're trying to think. They're taking forever to put on their shoes. They're resisting toothbrushing. Again. And you feel terrible for snapping at them. Again. Maybe you believe that good parents sacrifice everything for their children. That putting yourself first is selfish. That if you just tried harder...had more patience...were a better person...you wouldn't lose it over something so small.
When we don't feel good-low mood, negative emotions, or even anxiety-we reflect on what is happening in life and search for an external cause. The collective belief we share is that what goes on "out there" directly causes what we feel "in here." So, it naturally follows that when we struggle, the mind starts seeking an external reason: work, friends, or family. The hope is that inner peace will follow when circumstances align and we are in control.