#midlife

#midlife

Tom Layward, the narrator and main character of Ben Markovits' new novel, The Rest of Our Lives, introduces himself in a curious way: On the very first page of the book, he talks, matter-of-factly, about the affair his wife, Amy, had 12 years ago, when their two kids were young. Amy, who's Jewish, got involved at a local synagogue in Westchester; Tom, who was raised Catholic and is clearly not a joiner, remained on the sidelines.

Sleepaway camp wasn't exactly part of my childhood vocabulary. My parents didn't believe in paying money for me to rough it in the woods. Instead, summers meant Chinese school, then long afternoons upstairs in their restaurant, tinkering with the office equipment as they worked. My "campfire" was the blue glow of an Xerox bulb as I copied my face and various body parts into high-contrast collages.

In "This Is 40," which premiered Dec. 21, 2012, Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd play Debbie and Pete, a married couple both about to turn 40 while dealing with struggling businesses, parenting two daughters and trying to rediscover a connection in their marriage. I'd been looking forward to seeing the movie for weeks, knowing my husband and I could use a date night with some comic relief, with some way to focus on someone else's marital problems instead of our own.

I did my J-1 in Chicago at a time the Cubs were still cursed by the Billy Goat, French fries were 'freedom fries', Tom Brady and Kobe Bryant were the new sporting icons, and La Résistance were the WWE's biggest villains. I was part of the college student droves that skittle into various cities, towns and resorts across America, each summer. I travelled to Chicago alone, with ER episodes and a barely touched Lonely Planet as the height of my research.

One of the most powerful things that happens with age is that you become more comfortable in your skin. The self-consciousness that may have clouded your earlier experiences often gives way to clarity. You know what you like. You've had time to figure out how your body responds, what brings you joy, what bores you, and what's a hard no. That kind of knowledge is sexy and empowering.