#communication-patterns

#communication-patterns

Have you ever noticed how certain family gatherings seem to revolve around managing one person's moods or reactions? Maybe it's the sibling whose temper dictates whether dinner stays peaceful, or the relative everyone tiptoes around to avoid triggering an outburst. We've all witnessed these dynamics, but here's the uncomfortable question: what if that person is you? Growing up after my parents' divorce, I became fascinated with family dynamics and the roles we unconsciously adopt.

But psychologists studying long-term couples have discovered something surprising: compatibility isn't the strongest predictor of whether relationships last. Instead, research points to a specific communication style that distinguishes couples who go the distance from those who don't. It's not about how often you communicate, how well you express love, or even how skillfully you resolve conflicts. It's about something more fundamental-a pattern of interaction that either strengthens your bond over time or slowly erodes it.

"The four horsemen are four types of behaviors that are seen within relationships which typically indicate it may be on the rocks," Thais Gibson, a relationship expert and founder of The Personal Development School, told HuffPost. "These horsemen, alone or in combination, are what signal a dysfunctional relationship according to Gottman. The more of these traits that are expressed in a relationship, the more likely there is to be a breakup or divorce."