When I was eight or nine years old, my mother told me I had the Greenspan arse. I knew she meant it fondly... a genetic predisposition to hefty, tree-trunk thighs and magnificent bottoms. We were a tribe of Jewish immigrants... Natural selection had favoured those of us with slower metabolisms. If I wanted to know who I was, I only needed to take my clothes off and stand before a mirror.
I have never been thin, much as Elton John has never been understated and the Himalayas have never been flat. There have been moments when I have been thin-adjacent, achieved through quite monstrous effort... Such achievements are meant... to be celebrated.
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