I feel my mother-in-law is emotionally manipulative and puts a lot of pressure on my husband, and in turn me, to spend time with my daughter... Since then I have been resentful and felt she was taking advantage of my exhaustion to get intimate time with her newborn granddaughter, as opposed to respecting what was the right thing for me.
I now feel a need to keep her at arm's length for fear she will again overstep. My husband is supportive but ultimately feels pulled by his mother's emotional manipulation... I don't really know where to go from here, as I do want my daughter to have a relationship with her grandmother, but I also don't want my mother-in-law being involved in as many aspects of my life as I know she desires.
That's not because I think she's entitled to be a big part of your life â she isn't. Nor is it because I think she isn't being manipulative â she might be... It sounds like the problem is the quantity rather than the quality of time she wants: she doesn't realise how badly it affects you that she wants this level of enmeshment.
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