I have spent much of the past 25 years obsessing over that magazine's cartoon-caption contest, in which readers compete to supply the cleverest line of dialogue to a captionless drawing. I have entered more than 900 contests, losing almost all of them. But, because I have won eight contests, and made it to the final round in seven others, I hold the all-time caption-contest record.
The chances of becoming a finalist are infinitesimally small, but that has never discouraged me, even though it should have. In fact, when the contest started in its weekly format, in 2005, I was sure that I would make it to the finalists' round every week, and every week I was disappointed.
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