The New Gen-Z Dating Dictionary

"The epic Wagnerian rock duet plays out in three acts: First, a young couple hooks up in a parked car, and the guy pushes the girl for sex. Then the girl declares that, before they go further, she needs to know that the guy will love her until the end of time, which, under duress, he promises to do. Finally, from some point in the future, miserably tied together, the two sing that the end of time can't come soon enough."

"It also contained the metaphor that we used to talk about our early sexual experiences, via an interlude in which the shortstop turned sports announcer Phil Rizzuto calls out a batter's progress as he rounds the bases: "First base," any listener would have understood, was a kiss; a "home run" represented intercourse. Although my peers and I hardly required a lifetime commitment from a partner to have sex, I did take for granted that sexual encounters and relationships typically unfolded in a certain order, with clear steps."

"Today, though, many young people consider the bases (and the tidy progression they offer) a relic. Sophia Choukas-Bradley, a University of Pittsburgh psychology professor who researches teens and young adults, told me that the only times she'd heard Gen Zers-also known as Zoomers, the people born from 1997 to 2012-use the base system was ironically, with first base referring to, say, oral sex."

American sexual and romantic norms long followed a linear, staged progression exemplified by the 1977 song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," which used the baseball "bases" metaphor to map intimacy steps. The bases metaphor framed kissing, oral sex, and intercourse as sequential milestones. Many young people no longer accept that tidy sequence; some Gen Zers use the bases system ironically or shift labels (for example, first base referring to oral sex). Gen Z employs a broader, evolving vocabulary around sex and dating. Those linguistic changes reflect more fluid, non-linear expectations about sex, love, and commitment.

Read at The Atlantic