Wife: why is there a password on your phone? Me not wanting her to see my google history of words I can't spell: I'm cheating on you
Wife: You had pizza and a salad for lunch and a glass of wine. Me: That's amazing. How did you know? Wife: It's on your shirt.
- 🌜🤷♂️ Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla)
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