"But I managed to access my inner professional by simply showing curiosity and asking, "What story are you telling yourself about why he is doubling his efforts to help out?" She replied, "It makes me think that he feels I'm incompetent and that he can do it better than me. I think it's his job to support our family, and mine is to be responsible for all things related to our home.""
"So, the story she was telling herself was that her husband's upping his game at home felt like a criticism, a demonstration of his lack of faith in her abilities to get the job done. Furthermore, since she believed her fabricated story, she had been very annoyed at him, which stymied her husband. He felt hurt, misunderstood, and eventually was angry in return."
When events occur, humans immediately create explanations and narratives. People believe these constructed stories and then behave according to them. These fabricated narratives frequently generate problems, especially in intimate relationships. Example: a woman interpreted her husband's increased household help as a critique of her competence, while he intended to share work and express appreciation. The misinterpretation produced anger, hurt, and reciprocal resentment. Immediate storytelling by the brain leads to silent hypotheses about motives, which can escalate misunderstandings unless challenged by curiosity and direct communication. Awareness of this pattern and asking clarifying questions can prevent unnecessary conflict.
Read at Psychology Today
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