"In my late 20s, I was in a Dom/sub relationship with a much older man. He had complete control over my sexuality and enjoyed sharing me with friends and strangers. I slept with several hundred men in those years. I know some people would find that extreme, but it was fun, consensual, and as safe as possible. I'm approaching middle age now and have settled down quite a bit."
"There's a delicate yet critical difference between unintentionally misleading people and declining to check whether they've made some extremely common assumptions that follow the Madonna-whore dichotomy. You shouldn't have to say, "By the way, over a decade ago, I engaged in and then stopped engaging in these kinky and atypical sexual practices, which left no communicable diseases or other effects that could materially affect you, because my preferences in lifestyle changed""
There is a distinction between unintentionally misleading people and failing to test common assumptions stemming from the Madonna-whore dichotomy. Past consensual sexual experiences do not automatically require disclosure to new partners when they have no current health or consent implications. Presentation and current lifestyle choices may lead potential partners to assume current preferences and character traits. Attracting partners who perceive someone as marriage material does not obligate confession of unrelated past behavior. Disclosure becomes necessary when past sexual history could materially affect a partner's health, safety, or the informed nature of ongoing consent.
Read at Slate Magazine
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