"The thing about relationships is that they involve more than just two people especially if they lasted a long time. A few months after a two-year relationship ended may feel fresh for his mom. Speak to her and tell her how much you appreciate her, but admit that it's hard for you to move on when she is continuing to try to keep you in the fold."
"She'll send messages asking how I'm doing, complimenting things she's seen on my social media or saying she misses having me around. Sometimes she even brings up her son and how she wishes we'd worked things out. I genuinely like her; she was always so kind to me, and I know her heart is in the right place, but it's starting to feel uncomfortable."
A mutual breakup ended a nearly two-year relationship and contact largely ceased. The ex's mother continues to text, compliment social media, check in, and express that she misses the relationship, sometimes mentioning her son and wishing for reconciliation. The recipient appreciates the mother's kindness but finds the messages uncomfortable and disruptive to moving on, and worries about awkwardness if the ex learns of ongoing contact. Direct, compassionate boundary-setting is recommended: express appreciation, admit that ongoing contact makes moving on difficult, and ask the mother to accept that both the recipient and her son have moved on. A separate letter begins about long-term relationship concerns regarding marriage expectations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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