"Lately, the meetings have shifted into more of a social gathering where the book barely gets mentioned. Instead, most of the night revolves around wine, snacks and catching up on everyone's personal drama. While I enjoy the company, I miss the actual book discussions that originally drew me to the group. I feel like the odd one out for wanting to stay on topic, and I worry that if I bring it up, I'll come across as uptight."
"about wanting more structured conversations, or should I accept that the group has evolved into something different and find another outlet for my love of reading? No More Reading DEAR NO MORE READING: Speak up and say you miss the rich discussions about the book at your next meeting. Ask a few members individually to see if others share your view. If so, request a vote to see if members will consider going back to spending an allotted time on book discussion before socializing."
A book club that began for thoughtful reading has shifted into social gatherings where books are barely discussed. One member misses focused book conversations, feels odd for wanting structure, and worries about appearing uptight if they raise the issue. The member questions whether to speak up or leave. Advice encourages speaking up: express missing rich book discussions, privately gauge other members, and request a vote to allocate specific time for book talk before socializing. Separately, frequent photo-taking during hangouts causes another person to feel self-conscious and stressed, indicating a need for clear boundaries and communication about photos.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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