"Our 12-year-old granddaughter had a big celebration for her birthday. Her other grandparents gave her a choice of $100 or an overnight stay at a hotel with a pool. She chose the overnight. It has been several months now, with no hotel stay scheduled. Her other grands live full, busy and chaotic lives. Our granddaughter told me she feels hurt, disappointed and a bit angry. We had a good talk, and I feel she now better understands how adults sometimes forget how quickly time passes."
"We need to know if that would be a wise thing to do or if we should let it be. We understand it isn't our problem, but it hurts our hearts to see her let down after patiently waiting for her birthday present. What do you suggest? GRANDMA KNOWS BEST DEAR GRANDMA: You are lovely people, and I understand your impulse to cover for the other grandparents."
A 12-year-old granddaughter chose an overnight hotel stay with a pool instead of $100, yet months passed without the stay being scheduled. Her grandparents feel hurt seeing her disappointment and consider slipping $100 under her pillow to ease her feelings toward the other grandparents. Advice given: do not substitute for the broken promise, because the child needs to learn that adults sometimes fail to follow through on commitments and experiencing disappointment may reduce its impact later. Separately, a homeowner reports monthly visits from a sister and her friends, after which small household items repeatedly go missing and denials follow confrontations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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