"Over the course of our 26-year marriage I have caught my wife in numerous lies. We started marriage counseling three months ago and during an early session I asked if we could finally be truthful with each other, no more lies. No such luck. Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage."
"When I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother's storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher. Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me."
"Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot. I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do? Deceived Again Dear Deceived Again: Well, hold on. Is it her money? Meaning, in consideration of whatever your financial arrangement is, is the money she used money she has sole discretion over? If so, then you don't really have standing to demand proof she got repaid."
Husband discovered that his wife has secretly paid their absent brother’s storage fees for at least ten years, totaling about $16,500, and initially claimed reimbursement but then refused to provide proof. Husband reports a pattern of lies over a 26-year marriage and sought honesty during recent marriage counseling without success. Counsel recommends determining whether the money spent was under the wife’s sole financial discretion, because that affects the husband’s standing to demand receipts. Counsel recommends addressing the issue through conversation and therapy, recognizing possible family-obligation motives and avoiding commands that may have driven secrecy.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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