Raised to Have No Emotional Needs?

"You just have to do a few special things. Or, rather, you just have to not do a few special things. We will talk about those special things in a minute, but first, I have a question for you. Do you see having no emotional needs as a strength? Many people do. In fact, a surprising number of us have been taught that being "strong" means needing very little from other people, especially when it comes to emotions."

"Yet we humans are emotional beings. Our emotions are built into the most basic parts of our central nervous system. They are the deepest, most biological expression of our past and present experiences, wants, responses, reactions, and needs. Our emotions are vital messages from our deepest selves. What connects two people together in a love relationship? Emotions. What has motivated some of the greatest scientific discoveries of all time? Emotions."

"What enables every single human being to make decisions that are authentic to themselves? Emotions. What makes life mean something? Yes, you are right. It's emotions. What It Means to Have Emotional Needs Let's take a moment to consider what it means to have emotional needs. It means that you are human, and it also means two more things. That you are open to messages from your inner self and that you are open to connections with others that are based on vulnerability and emotional honesty."

"These are the ingredients that make relationships feel true, resilient, and rich, all of which are paramount to being able to emotionally thrive. Do you have emotional needs? Yes, you do, because you are human. But the real question is whether you allow yourself to know, express, and try to meet"

Having no emotional needs is presented as easy to achieve by accident, even when parents intend to do everything right. The text challenges the idea that needing little emotionally is strength, arguing that humans are inherently emotional beings. Emotions are described as deeply biological expressions of experiences, wants, responses, and needs, functioning as vital messages from the inner self. Emotions are linked to connection in love relationships, motivation for major scientific discoveries, authentic decision-making, and the meaning of life. Emotional needs are defined as openness to inner messages and openness to vulnerable, emotionally honest connections with others. These elements are said to make relationships feel true, resilient, and rich, enabling emotional thriving.

Read at Psychology Today