"My daughter is asking me to apologize to her boyfriend, Harry, for yelling at him when I was helping them move six years ago. I had traveled 250 miles to help. The day of the move, Harry didn't take time off work, so he wasn't there to help. (They had a second-floor unit with no elevator.) When he finally did show up, he proceeded to slow-walk taking out the recycling stuff. At the new place, Harry helped somewhat, but when the food was delivered,"
"That's when I lost it. I yelled at him for not helping more. All he had done in his relationship with my daughter was go to work, come home and play video games. He didn't help around the house or show any interest in helping with their son. Over the last few years, Harry has changed somewhat in helping with his son, but my daughter now feels stuck in the middle and wants me to apologize to him for yelling."
A mother recounts traveling 250 miles to help her daughter move and becoming furious when the daughter's boyfriend, Harry, contributed little during the long, difficult move. Harry missed much of the moving day, moved slowly with chores, and ate while others continued heavy lifting. The mother yelled, later stopped criticizing, and tried to maintain civility, but the daughter now asks for an apology. Family members disagree about who should apologize first; the mother believes Harry needs professional help and the son wants mutual apologies. A columnist advises the mother to apologize first for her daughter's sake. A second parent raises a question about selective birthday invitations for a special-needs pre-K child.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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