Walking Through Anxiety

"When I was cast on the TV show "Survivor" in 2023 (yes, that show is still on), I thought I knew what anxiety felt like. I had spent years helping clients understand it, name it, and care for it. I had been in active therapy for around a decade. But living through it in front of millions of people is something no training could have prepared me for."

"Spoiler alert: I quit the show after 3 days of starvation, sleep deprivation, cameras in my face, and growing panic. I knew that millions of viewers would judge my decision, but I chose to prioritize myself over public opinion. What happened was that the level of hate and vitriol I received (one-star Google reviews for my group practice, hate mail, internet comments naming all of my shame in their accusations), shook me in a way I had never experienced."

"Anxiety, at its core, is communication. It is the body's way of saying, "Please pay attention." On the island, there was nowhere to escape it. There were no distractions, no phone to scroll, no inbox to check. At first, I resisted them. I tried to push through, to outthink the fear. But the harder I fought my anxiety, the more power it seemed to have."

A mental health professional experienced intense anxiety while competing on Survivor in 2023 despite years of therapy and training. She quit after three days because of starvation, sleep deprivation, cameras, and growing panic. She anticipated judgment but prioritized her wellbeing. She then endured targeted online vitriol that affected her practice and sense of safety. Anxiety amplified under exposure but became a teacher when attended to. She learned to notice bodily sensations—chest, stomach, jaw—breathe into them, ground herself in the environment, and shift from fighting anxiety to listening to its messages as important signals to act with self-care.

Read at Psychology Today