Try adding half-and-half, cream, or milk with a fat percentage of your choosing to saucier dishes. Consider the other ingredients and the texture of the dish...
Curry calls for adding dairy later in the cooking process to prevent it from curdling. Try using plain yogurt or a smaller amount of Greek yogurt...
You can also use full-fat coconut milk as a dairy-free alternative. The fat molecules within the coconut milk will still capture and eliminate the spicy molecules within the dish, toning it down...
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