I lost my beloved husband after 35 years, then my sister and my father. Here's how I rebuilt my old happy self

A husband and wife faced the shock of an asbestos-related lung cancer diagnosis with a decision to live in hope rather than fear. They continued working and staying active through travel and running, while also maintaining social connections. They created the Positivity Project and used a raspberry pink notebook to record messages from loved ones, reminders of resilience, and practical steps to support the husband’s immune system. They listed positive prognostic factors, including a less aggressive, more treatable cancer type, no spread, and an exceptionally healthy immune system. The notebook also supported gratitude journaling to reduce stress and anxiety and help prevent depression.

"I didn't think I could survive the death of my husband, Graham. We met at university when I was 18, and for 35 years we made a great team. We both worked full-time and, while I organised our many marathon and backpacking trips abroad, and pursued my ambition of becoming an author and hypnotherapist, he supported me by taking care of most of the domestic chores and DIY."

"When, in 2017, Graham was diagnosed with asbestos-related lung cancer and given between 18 months and five years to live, the shock was profound. But, once the initial terror had subsided, we made a choice: to live in hope, not fear. We vowed to make the most of whatever time Graham had left, rather than mentally rehearse or fear his death."

"We called our decision the Positivity Project, and one of the first things we did was buy a raspberry pink notebook in which to record everything that might give us hope: messages from loved ones wishing us well and reminding us how resilient we were, and the practical steps we were taking to support Graham's immune system."

"We also used our Positivity Book to list everything we'd been told was a plus regarding Graham's prognosis: he had epithelioid mesothelioma, which was less aggressive and more treatable than other kinds of asbestos-related cancer; it hadn't spread; and his immune system was extraordinarily healthy. The only negative factor that men with mesothelioma do not tend to live as long as women with the disease."

Read at www.theguardian.com