A lot of it goes back to that 'hot-boy cosplay.' The winking, the egregious flirting, the too-cool-for-school attitude he was putting on was put on. He almost felt like he had to fit in with the other 'gentlemen.' He's tired of pretending and wants to be honest about his desire for love.
"The necessity to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning" exhausts him. He wants to find a wife and love her. He's only mildly afraid to admit it.
Penelope called him out, knowing him best. He made fun of her to fit in with 'gentlemen.' He's realizing he never really liked these distractions, wanting genuine love instead.
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