#external-validation
#external-validation
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#self-worth #identity-vs-belonging #social-conformity #cult-dynamics #loyalty-contracts #happiness #success
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoThere's a specific type of unhappiness that belongs to people who did everything right - the right degree, the stable marriage, the good job - and still wake up feeling like they're living someone else's life - Silicon Canals
Chasing external validation often leads to a sense of emptiness despite achieving societal markers of success.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoThe people who seem unbothered by what others think of them aren't indifferent. They just moved the audience from external to internal sometime in their thirties and never told anyone about the shift. - Silicon Canals
Calmness is often misinterpreted as indifference; true calm comes from internalizing self-judgment rather than dismissing external opinions.
fromSilicon Canals
2 months agoPeople who seem like they don't care what others think almost always went through a very specific period where they cared so much it nearly destroyed them. The indifference isn't natural. It's scar tissue that learned to look like freedom. - Silicon Canals
Research in psychological resilience suggests this kind of adaptation is a capacity that develops in response to adversity, not in the absence of it. Resilience isn't a factory setting. It's forged under heat. The person who seems unbothered at the dinner party, who shrugs off criticism with genuine ease, who doesn't need to win the argument: they almost always went through a chapter where they cared so deeply about someone else's opinion that it warped the shape of their days.
Psychology
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 months agoIf you were the 'good kid' growing up, psychology says these 7 habits are quietly ruining your happiness in adultohood - Silicon Canals
Childhood 'good kid' behaviors—seeking approval, avoiding conflict, and people-pleasing—can persist into adulthood and undermine happiness, autonomy, and decision-making.
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