"An old definition of the word fate is "the will of the gods." We might say that it is a fitting metaphor, as it suggests that fate comes from a source much larger than ourselves. Its immensity will stretch way beyond what is in our control. We can ask: How can we create a life that reflects our dreams and what we hold to be important, when so much lies outside our sphere of influence?"
"Once we let go of the need to conquer fate, then we can also let go of feeling like a victim, as fate exercises its potency. Fate will inevitably bring people, events, and situations that challenge us. Storms, fires, disappointment, relationship trauma, hurt, and loss, as well as good fortune and success, are all part of fate's delivery system. If we're lucky, we begin to understand that fate is a major expression of life."
"There are four options as we encounter fate. The first is a favorable situation beyond our control, leaving us with a measure of acceptance. The second is an unfavorable situation beyond our control. This may be more challenging to accept, especially if it involves a place or person whom we love. Surrender may call for more time, energy, and support, particularly if we are grieving. The third situation occurs when it is favorable, and we have control over it."
Fate originates from forces larger than individuals and extends beyond personal control. Creating a meaningful life requires adjusting the ego to form a working relationship with fate rather than attempting to dominate it. Letting go of conquering fate reduces victimhood and allows acceptance of life’s challenges, losses, and successes. Fate presents four encounter types: favorable beyond control, unfavorable beyond control, favorable within control, and unfavorable within control. Surrender, acceptance, exertion of will, and grieving responses depend on the situation. Western emphasis on willpower can distort perceptions of fate's role. Learning when to act and when to surrender cultivates resilience and meaning.
Read at Psychology Today
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