"And I've experienced grief previously. I've lost both my parents - my dad died suddenly, we were stunned, totally unprepared and my mum was the opposite, the long goodbye of dementia - so I've walked this road before. But a sibling is different. They're young, they're your peer, they're your oldest pal, your earliest playmate. They're not supposed to die."
"So I find myself flooded with memories, some long forgotten. Sitting either end of the couch giggling, when we were so small that our feet met in the middle. Salt and vinegar chips in the back of the car on the way home from the beach. Waking up beside her to the smell of sausages in our caravan on holidays in Connemara."
The writer confronts the death of their sister Dara from incurable cancer diagnosed nine months prior. Though experienced with grief from losing both parents—one suddenly, one through dementia—sibling loss feels distinctly different and more difficult to process. Siblings occupy a unique role as peers, oldest friends, and earliest playmates, making their death feel unnatural and wrong. The writer struggles to write about this loss, finding it emotionally overwhelming. Memories flood back: childhood moments on the couch, beach trips, holiday caravan stays, Christmas shopping, shared jokes, and significant life events together. These accumulated shared experiences and the expectation that siblings should outlive parents intensify the grief.
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