"At first read I understood this to mean that FBI Director Kash Patel was in Hawaii and did some elite type of cocaine known as the "VIP Snorkel" at the national historic site Pearl Harbor. No, it turns out he went actual snorkeling at Pearl Harbor, which is somehow much worse. Getting lobbed up on booger sugar at a venerated site is just another day at the office for Patel, but snorkeling a mass grave is really crossing some professional and ethical boundaries."
"Remember when Rudy Giuliani was the biggest buffoon in Trump's orbit? Well, he almost died of pneumonia last week, and then he reminded us of why he'd held that esteemed title for so long. Giuliani said on his webshow that while he was dying, he had a "significant spiritual experience." I thought for sure this was going to be a Kesha-fucking-a-ghost type spiritual situation, but Giuliani's experience was just that he dreamt he was facing down St. Peter for judgment."
"And finally, Marco Rubio was photographed wearing the same Nike sweatsuit that former Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro was wearing when he was arrested back in January, yet Rubio wearing it in the harsh light of day is so much less cool than Maduro wearing it with bedhead, cuffs, and a blindfold. You can't teach cool. Rubio doesn't have it."
Kash Patel is reported to have done “VIP Snorkel” at Pearl Harbor, shifting from an initial drug-related misunderstanding to actual snorkeling at a site associated with mass death. The act is portrayed as crossing professional and ethical boundaries, with “VIP snorkel” proposed as a recurring phrase. Rudy Giuliani is described as having nearly died of pneumonia and then claiming a “significant spiritual experience,” which is characterized as a dream of facing St. Peter for judgment. Marco Rubio is compared to Nicolas Maduro through matching Nike sweatsuits, with Rubio framed as less cool than Maduro due to the contrast in context and presentation.
Read at Portland Mercury
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]