
"A biting cold open pulled in Matt Damon and saw President Donald Trump’s allies sharing some drinks and drowning their sorrows. Damon revived a performance for SNL this weekend and a biting cold open took aim at three men whose alcohol use and alleged abuse has made headlines: Supreme Court Justice Brett Kananaugh, FBI Director Kash Patel, and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth."
"Hey, can I just say we are both kicking a*s, right now, Damon’s Kavanaugh told Colin Jost’s Hegseth while sitting at a bar. Dude, can you believe I just started a war? Jost’s Hegseth said. Damon’s Kavanaugh then said he ended abortion, referring to the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade in 2022, determining individual states determine the legality of abortion."
"Damon made digs about Kavanaugh drinking during his impression, pulling up a map of Tennessee and joking about new congressional lines. This Kavanaugh pulled out a map of Tennessee and showed a new congressional district, but then commented, actually, no, that’s, that’s a field sobriety test. They told me to draw a circle. They told me to draw a circle."
"Aziz Ansari also revived his Patel role and turned the FBI director into a man entering a poly relationship. The line was a reference to Patel reportedly ordering polygraph tests for employees to discover a media leak. Patel is currently suing The Atlantic over a report citing colleagues and suggesting his drinking has become an issue in his job, leading to late appearances and confusion. I told them to make a graph of everyone in the FBI who’s poly."
A bar cold open shows three Trump allies sharing drinks and joking about recent controversies. Matt Damon plays Brett Kavanaugh and makes remarks about ending abortion after the overturning of Roe v. Wade, while also mocking Kavanaugh’s drinking through a map gag involving Tennessee and new congressional lines. Colin Jost plays Pete Hegseth and jokes about starting a war and worrying it will end badly. Aziz Ansari plays Kash Patel and turns the FBI director into a man in a poly relationship, referencing reported polygraph tests tied to a media leak. The jokes also reference Patel’s ongoing lawsuit over claims that his drinking affects his job performance.
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