"Whether you call it dead fish or pirate sex or something a little less nautical, the point is that lazy sex is part of relationships. Schedules fill up, our bodies get tired, hormones go haywire, mental health fluctuates, and goodness, if kids don't have a sixth sense on how to sabotage our alone time. That's why I feel strongly that sometimes a quickie is better than no sex at all."
"But if I'm honest, there are times in my relationship that the lazy quickie turns into the norm. We let work deadlines, scrolling on our phones, or one more episode of a good show take the place of quality time together. And then suddenly, it's 11:45 pm and I'm thinking, "How did this happen? I have to be up in 6.5 hours.""
"Before we know it, we're in a sex rut. And then suddenly, the momentary oxytocin boost of a quickie isn't enough to keep us in tune with each other's needs. We tend to bicker more because when we don't make time for our physical relationship, it's generally a sign we aren't making time for our emotional connection either. One study found that dissatisfaction in marriages peaks at 10 years, with lack of intimacy and the demands of raising children cited as pain points."
Couples sometimes use playful labels like "dead fish" or "pirate sex" to describe lazy, low-effort quickies when one partner is too tired to fully participate. Busy schedules, fatigue, hormonal changes, mental health fluctuations, and children can reduce opportunities for sexual intimacy. Occasional quick sexual encounters can be preferable to no sex and provide brief oxytocin boosts. If quickies become the norm, partners can slip into a sex rut where low-effort encounters no longer meet emotional or physical needs. Reduced sexual engagement often corresponds with decreased emotional connection and increased bickering. One study links marital dissatisfaction at around ten years to diminished intimacy and parenting demands.
Read at Scary Mommy
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]