"I asked him what his hobbies are, and he said dressing up as a woman and masturbating furiously. I got the impression he was just looking for sex, but so was I. If either of us had thought the other was looking for something serious, we'd have run a mile. That Ollie is more experienced in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) made me feel insecure at first."
"We've agreed to be open and honest, to use protection, and that if I see him out with someone else, I wouldn't want them to be intimate in front of me. I thought that if I took penetration off the table, it would be a big issue. But sex with Ollie is pleasure-driven I don't believe monogamy works long-term. With my ex, I had trust issues, and he ended up cheating on me."
"The hiding is the problem, and ENM removes that. There's no reason not to trust Ollie. But that doesn't mean I don't get jealous, and I question whether that jealousy means I'm not cut out for non-monogamy. If I know that Ollie's on a date, I find it difficult sitting around not knowing what to do with myself. I visualise him having sex with someone else."
Person is attracted to Ollie, who mixes masculine and feminine traits and describes hobbies including dressing as a woman and masturbating. Both initially sought casual sex and agreed that ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is non-negotiable for Ollie. The person feels insecure about being new to ENM, worries about future desire for exclusivity, and experiences jealousy when imagining Ollie with others. The couple set boundaries: openness, honesty, condom use, and no intimate acts in front of the other. Past cheating led to distrust of secrecy, and ENM is seen as removing hiding. Sex with Ollie is pleasure-driven and boosts confidence.
Read at www.theguardian.com
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]