"The first time Elias and I had sex was the best sex I'd had in my life. Sex is an essential part of my relationship with Elias, but about seven years ago, I began having health issues and ended up having a hysterectomy which kicked me into early menopause. My sex drive just fell off a cliff."
"Elias would want to initiate sex and I kept rejecting him, which began to make him feel insecure. I wanted to want sex, but my body wasn't responding in the way it used to. I began reading a bunch of books about menopause and sex, including Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski."
"We ended up putting together a very detailed list of all the intimate things we enjoyed doing together. We call it our intimacy menu. The menu is a shared list on the Notes app on our phones, so we each get notifications when one of us has ticked a particular item."
"Since everything on the list is something we both like and we've agreed on in advance, when he sends me a suggestion it turns me on. It has helped to break the pattern where I was turning him down."
A couple faced challenges in their sexual relationship after health issues led to early menopause and a significant drop in libido. To address this, they created an intimacy menu, a shared list of activities they both enjoy. This menu allows them to communicate desires and preferences, helping to rekindle their sexual connection. The approach has improved their intimacy, allowing for open discussions about their needs and desires, ultimately leading to a resurgence in the woman's sex drive, even if not to its previous level.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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