"Abigail needs to tell her adult son Mark that she thinks he has a drinking problem. Simon needs to tell his wife Lisa that he's afraid he doesn't love her anymore. From time to time, we all find ourselves in a tough spot. Something looks wrong or feels wrong, and we need to say something difficult. Something painful that may hurt someone we care about, but which nevertheless must be said."
"Abigail and Simon have some tough decisions to make. Do they speak up and risk hurting their loved ones? How do they say it? Would it be better to just keep it to themselves? At least then they wouldn't cause anyone pain. Many people in these situations choose the last option. Sometimes it feels easier and kinder. Unfortunately, that is typically the worst choice. Uncomfortable truths seldom disappear on their own. And they have far more power to hurt when they remain unspoken."
Unspoken truths tend to worsen problems over time more than honest, caring conversations. People who grew up with childhood emotional neglect may find speaking honestly feels risky or wrong and may lack emotional skills to convey difficult messages effectively. Avoiding painful conversations often seems kinder but usually allows problems to fester and cause greater harm. Thoughtful timing, calm delivery, and genuine empathy increase the chance that difficult messages will be heard and reduce unnecessary damage. Speaking uncomfortable truths can cause temporary discomfort but functions as an act of care that protects relationships and personal integrity.
Read at Psychology Today
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