"Cognitive overload is what happens when your brain is running too many programs at once. Work, money, the kids, that argument you never finished - at some point the system stops processing and starts shedding."
"When one partner is cognitively overloaded, these bids can get missed. They might even get experienced as demands - one more thing on the pile."
"Building Love Maps requires cognitive bandwidth. It requires being curious enough to ask, and present enough to hear the answer."
"The couples in Gottman's research who stayed connected weren't the ones with the most free time. They were the ones who protected small pockets of connection for each other."
Cognitive overload occurs when the brain is overwhelmed with multiple tasks and worries, leading to impaired emotional connection in relationships. This overload can cause partners to miss important bids for connection, interpreting them instead as demands. Maintaining updated Love Maps, which reflect a partner's current emotional state and needs, requires cognitive bandwidth. Couples who prioritize small moments of connection, despite busy lives, tend to maintain stronger relationships, as they stay attuned to each other's evolving inner worlds.
Read at The Gottman Institute
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