"I can count on two hands the number of phone calls I've received in the past year - roughly one a month. That level of loneliness is unbearable. I regularly hear the ding of a text that says, 'Thinking of you.' And then... nothing. No way to hear the care or concern in someone's voice. No space to feel accompanied."
"Over time, I've realized that we have replaced the most human form of care - voice - with the safest and most distant one - text. And when someone is grieving, that shift matters more than we want to admit."
"The problem with the 'How are you?' text is this: What does the sender expect a grieving person to type back? Instead, we default to performance: 'I'm hanging in there.' 'Doing OK, all things considered.'"
The silence following a loved one's death can be more surprising than the loss itself. While the expected quietness of the home is anticipated, the lack of communication from others is unbearable. Despite receiving numerous texts during the grieving process, the sender's question, 'How are you?' feels impossible to answer. The shift from voice to text diminishes the human connection needed during grief, leading to superficial responses instead of genuine expressions of pain and loneliness.
Read at BuzzFeed
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