"Steve messed up all the time, his wife said, because he's "sloppy," and, truth be told, "stupid." A few years into their marriage, words like "always" and "never" entered the mix. He "always fucked up." He could "never be trusted" - even to fill out a simple form, and certainly not to spend money without her approval. Steve was told he misjudged people and that he needed his wife to tell him what to say so that everyone wouldn't hate him."
"He agreed when she told him she wanted to put a tracking app on his phone. One day, when a work meeting got canceled and he headed to the gym, a text popped up: "Where are you going?" Sometimes Steve's wife initiated playful banter and reminisced about the good times they'd shared. Sometimes she launched into a vicious rage that could last for hours or days, during which she'd detail his idiotic mistakes and selfish decisions."
Existing studies often link infidelity to subsequent abuse, while the possibility that abuse prompts infidelity remains underexamined. The narrative of Steve shows how a single scolding escalated into sustained denigration, labeling, and isolation. Repeated messages that he was "sloppy," "stupid," and "always" failing eroded his confidence and trust, and led him to accept monitoring via a tracking app. Alternating affection and prolonged rages that catalogue mistakes reinforced dependence and anxiety. The pattern demonstrates how emotional and coercive abuse can normalize surveillance and behavioral control, producing long-term psychological harm and compromised autonomy.
Read at BuzzFeed
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