There's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals

"Studies indicate that a significant number of fathers are estranged from adult children. Those numbers don't appear out of nowhere. They emerge from decades of two generations speaking entirely different emotional languages, each convinced the other one is refusing to listen."

"The implicit social contract for men of that generation ran something like this: you provide stability, physical safety, and financial continuity, and in return you are understood to love your family. Expression was not part of the package."

"Historian Stephanie Coontz has written about how family relationships were historically based more on mutual obligations than on mutual understanding. Parents or children might reproach each other for failing to honour a duty."

Fathers and adult children often experience estrangement due to differing emotional languages. Many fathers, shaped by societal expectations, equate love with stability and provision, neglecting emotional expression. This unspoken social contract leaves emotional labor invisible, leading to misunderstandings. The historical context reveals that family relationships were based on obligations rather than understanding, complicating the dynamics of love and connection across generations. As individuals mature, they may recognize these complexities and the pain underlying their relationships.

Read at Silicon Canals