"Unfortunately, my fiance and I were dragged into the middle of the situation because we were speaking with both of them prior to the court proceeding. Now, they have both cut us off! I'm pretty sure it was because we wouldn't pick sides, but why should we have to? We love them both. My fiance had a close relationship with his sister and mother. I know this is hurting him. How can I help bring their relationships back together?"
"DEAR TOUGH POSITION: There is no way you can force a reconciliation between two parties who don't want to mend fences. You do not know whether the mother's motive for dropping off unwanted gifts was to harass her daughter. (It may have been.) My advice is to stay firmly out of the line of fire until after that court case has been resolved."
"He is in his 60s and is 50% disabled; he can still work custodial jobs. His sister, Gayle, who lives 500 miles away, asked him to move in with her and her husband, saying they would help take care of him. Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a severe alcoholic. She'd come home from work, have six or eight drinks and become really belligerent with both her husband and Louis."
A fiance's sister and mother are involved in a court dispute; the mother admits to poor parenting while the sister alleges harassment via dropped-off gifts, notes and money. The couple was caught in the middle after speaking with both parties and has been cut off by each, with the sister blocking contact and raising harassment concerns. Advice is to avoid forcing a reconciliation and to stay out of the conflict until the court case is resolved. Separately, an older, partially disabled man moved in with a sister who proved to be a severe alcoholic, became belligerent, and gave him 30 days to leave; he now has limited support and is seeking custodial work.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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