"With each new person, there are more avenues for good connections - or bad ones. Of course, every situation is different. Your husband hooking up with a guy at his annual work conference may not require the same amount of negotiation as a committed polycule does. But no matter how you've opened the relationship, you'll want everyone involved to feel cared for and respected."
"Non-monogamy is meant to add fun and intimacy to your life, not produce jealousy, so if there's a specific thing you'd rather your partner not do with other people, go ahead - create a boundary. It can be small or silly, professional or practical. Such guidelines are like clutching a river map while white-water rafting: You still might flip the boat, but you'll have a better chance of avoiding the rocks."
"The clearer the boundaries, the more smoothly open relationships can operate, and the more likely you'll be able to keep the peace, prevent misunderstandings, and limit unnecessary hurt feelings."
""My primary partner can't go home with other stand-up comedians without checking with me first. Those are basically my colleagues, and who knows who I might have some personal beef with? I didn't want to find out someone f*cked my girlfriend during a roast battle." - Billy, 36, Los Angeles"
Nonmonogamous relationships can become complex as additional people create multiple separate dynamics. Different situations require different levels of negotiation, but all involved need to feel cared for and respected. Rules and boundaries help keep nonmonogamy focused on fun and intimacy rather than jealousy. Boundaries can be small or practical, and they can address specific behaviors a partner should not do with others. Clear guidelines function like a map during high-risk activity, improving the chances of avoiding problems. When boundaries are explicit, open relationships can operate more smoothly, maintain peace, and limit unnecessary hurt feelings.
Read at Bustle
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