Are You Gaslighting Yourself?

"But recently, I realized something equally shocking: The same narrative tricks used to excuse abuse and cement authoritarian power in the political world are often used by our inner narrators to excuse harm done to us. In our private stories about ourselves, we can be our own dark spin doctors, and we are often highly adept at spreading toxic PR in our inland empires."

"By controlling the narrative framing of incidents in which harm occurs in that way, public perception is shifted even before independent investigations can take place. There are numerous examples out there of the ways in which politicians control official narratives by using DARVO tactics. We are all familiar with the playbook by now, and yet it remains upsetting to see how effectively it works every time it is deployed."

DARVO consists of three phases: deny wrongdoing, attack critics, and reverse victim and offender. Powerful actors confronted with evidence of harm commonly deny wrongdoing, attack accusers, and recast themselves as victims to evade accountability. Controlling narrative framing shifts public perception prior to independent investigation. The same narrative tactics that facilitate abuse and authoritarian consolidation in public life also operate within private self-narratives. Moments of confusion, shame, or trauma often prompt inward storying that mirrors DARVO: denying harm, discrediting perceived causes, and adopting victim or offender identities to avoid facing responsibility or processing painful experience.

Read at Psychology Today