8 conversation habits that signal low emotional intelligence-and most people who have them think they're great communicators - Silicon Canals

"After interviewing over 200 people for various articles, from startup founders to burned-out middle managers, I thought I'd mastered the art of conversation. Turns out, I was confusing talking a lot with communicating well. A friend finally called me out for treating early dates like interview subjects, gathering data instead of actually connecting. That wake-up call made me realize something uncomfortable: Many of us who think we're excellent communicators are actually displaying habits that signal low emotional intelligence."

"You know that person who responds to every story with "Oh, that reminds me of when I..." and then launches into their own tale? Yeah, that was me. When someone shared a problem, I'd immediately jump in with my similar experience, thinking I was being relatable. But here's what I learned: Sometimes people just need to be heard, not matched with a competing story."

Many people conflate talking a lot with effective communication and overrate their own abilities. Habitual behaviors like steering conversations back to oneself and treating others like interview subjects reduce genuine connection. Constant self-referencing and immediate problem-matching signal difficulty tolerating others' emotions and silence. Emotionally intelligent communicators ask follow-up questions, listen deeply, and prioritize the speaker's feelings over sharing comparable anecdotes. Research links low emotional intelligence to overestimating communication skills and missing social cues. Recognizing and changing self-centered conversational patterns can improve relationships, foster empathy, and create more meaningful exchanges.

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