"The book discusses research that shows that when we're stressed, we under-perceive others' pain. The flow-on from this is that we start to perceive bids for connection from our family members as annoying intrusions rather than those bids activating our instinct to be compassionate. When we perceive our loved ones as overreacting (because we're under-perceiving their stress), we start to slowly drift away from them."
"This line of research was one I was completely unfamiliar with before reading Mind Over Grind. When individuals experience high stress over sustained periods, their partners can develop clinical symptoms of burnout alongside them, without any direct exposure to the work stress themselves. The partners of physically and emotionally exhausted people start to show those same symptoms."
"I think most of us realize that workplace stress can lead to us making worse choices across various domains of our lives, but we may not fully recognize our own "canaries in the coalmine" of self-neglect. Self-neglect is when "functional people stop functioning" in their private lives, like skipping or delaying medical care and screenings, neglecting some aspects of hygiene, poor adulting around finances, or ignoring needed home maintenance."
Workplace stress reduces the ability to perceive others' pain, turning bids for connection from family into annoying intrusions and prompting emotional drifting. Sustained high stress can cause crossover burnout, producing clinical burnout symptoms in partners who lack direct exposure to the workplace source. Stress also produces systemic self-neglect, where functional adults delay medical care, neglect hygiene, mishandle finances, and ignore home maintenance. Practical, mechanism-specific tools target each dynamic to interrupt harmful patterns. Compelling client stories and clear research examples show how work stress ricochets into multiple areas of personal life.
Read at Psychology Today
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