"We have a core friend group of four families at our synagogue (we will call them families A, B, C, and D). Everyone has kids the same age, and when we all get together, it's just fun and relaxed. This last weekend, after some of us left for the night (families C and D plus husband/kids from B), a lot more drinking occurred, and husband from A and wife from B got busted by wife from A in a "very compromising position.""
"The kids are confused because these two families were super tight, so it's not adding up for them. I don't want to tell them about the cheating part because I don't want them to be mad at the two involved, since there are layers there (and I don't want them spreading gossip around our temple). I told them that this is "adult stuff," but that didn't buy me much slack."
Children will notice when close adult friendships dissolve and will ask direct questions. Provide age-appropriate, neutral answers that maintain privacy and omit salacious details. Emphasize that the situation concerns adults and that hurt feelings and changing relationships are normal. Reassure children about stability, routines, and continued care. Discourage gossip and model respectful behavior toward all parties. Prepare for practical changes such as altered playdates or household interactions and communicate logistical shifts simply. Encourage questions, correct misinformation concisely, and validate children's emotions without assigning blame.
Read at Slate Magazine
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