My Son and His Cousin Will Be at the Same Big High School Next Year. My In-Laws Have the Wrong Idea About What That's Going to Look Like.

Cael and Levi are cousins who attend the same small school and will move to a much larger public high school. Cael is outgoing and has a wider friend network through school, sports, church, and other activities. Levi is more homebound with fewer activities and a smaller friend group, and he views Cael as a close friend. Family members expect Cael to help Levi navigate the social transition. The response advises not to lead with unkind or condescending language that implies Levi needs a “keeper” or “crutch.” It also notes that the cousins may not share classes and may not spend much time together, so relying on that assumption is not wise.

"Of course it's fine if you want to point out the fact that it's a big school and the cousins might not have classes together. Suggesting that your nephew needs a "keeper" or a "crutch," on the other hand, would probably come across as both unkind and condescending, so I wouldn't lead with those."

"My son is excited, as he will be with friends he's made outside of school through sports, church, and other activities. Levi is much more of a homebody with very few, if any, activities outside of school. His friend group consists of a few boys in his class, and he considers my son his best friend."

"Cael considers Levi a friend (not his best friend) due to him being his cousin, and is also friends with most of the other boys and girls in his class. After their graduation last weekend, my wife's brother and his wife brought up how big of a change it will be for the boys, going from a class of 15 kids and a school with a little over a hundred students to a school with several thousand students."

Read at Slate Magazine